Week 24: Crazy Zombie Inmate story

Weds: pampered chef party, got a MANUAL food processor that works like a salad spinner, but with blades of death. pesto, hummus and salsa, allll summer long.

(not so) epic fail: planned to start running around the lake in the AM, set a goal of once this week.  # of times running: 0.  # of times i hit my snooze: 3.  on average.  my problem is that i LOVE sleep.  must conquer this.  as incentive to start running i ordered a new bikini from Vickys, green tie dye, oh yeah!

Thursday: Movies and Wine: i have a new movie buddy, and she brings wine. and cups. and manages not to spill said wine when pouring into said cups in a dark movie theater.  impressive indeed.  Super8: Very Good.  kind of like goonies/ET for the new generation.  i may have scream/shrieked a few times.  and shed a tear.  and laughed a lot.  AND it has Coach Taylor (FNL!) so really, how could i not love it to pieces? and the train crash part is RIDIC.  true Spielberg awesomeness. it wasn’t even in 3-D and i still ducked a few times.

Friday: New Friend Happy Hour. Grilled swordfish wrap, delish.

Saturday: Rented a dumpster so my mom and i could clean out under my cottage (approx 30 years of crap from renters and others) gross gross gross. one of those improvement projects that has been on my list forever.  at one point i was trying to shovel away old leaves and debris and hit something that made my shovel go “tink”. assuming it was a piece of metal i brushed off some leaves and mused , “hmm that looks like a head”, and then, “EW it IS a head!”.  it was a petrified possum skeleton.  so gross. and their tails are bone btw.  i stopped working till my mom got there so i could show her/ have her help me dispose of it.  seriously, it freaked me out. i had to go inside and take a little break.

then it was mountain party time! highlights- gummi bears soaked in vodka (apparently the new thing now), delicious grilled stuff, smores, fold out chairs with footrests, brand new outhouse with purell and a mirror, and a giant sized bonfire.

the lowlights- i got the weirdest shit-talk ever during a beer pong game.  “i can’t believe you made that shot with your PALE SKIN!” wha-?  so many thoughts.  1- yeah, actually, my pale skin, doesn’t affect my hand-eye coordination. 2- good thing my cousin didn’t make that shot or you’d have nothing, cause she’s super tan. 3- piss off, i’m not that pale. 4- terrible smack talk.  you should be embarrassed.

and finally, work ridiculousness: Crazy Zombie Inmate.

guy 2 “i bought a truck from guy 1 and he said he bought it from you but never titled it and has lost the original title.  you sold it 10 years ago. ”

me “ok, well he needs to apply for a lost title”

guy 2: “well, he died.”

me: “huh. ok, lemme get back to you”

….few days pass……

me: “so since the guy is dead -”

guy 2: “no, no he isn’t dead, he went crazy and burned his house down, he’s in a mental institution. Vietnam.”

me: “huh. ok, lemme get back to you”

….few days pass….

me: “so since the guy is mentally incapacitated you need to- ”

guy 2: “no, no, he isn’t mentally incapacitated he’s in jail. Vietnam.”

me: “huh. ok, well then he needs to do (super complicated) x, y, and z.”

guy 2: “well he gets out tomorrow so i can probably bring him up there to do the paperwork:

me: “huh. ok. great.”

so a mentally incapacitated zombie fresh from jail with Vietnam problems? perfect. this doesn’t sound sketch at all. how fortuitous he gets out tomorrow.


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