Week 21: A$$hole Tan

if you know me or my sisters at all, then you have heard of the asshole tan.  you know the one: the tan where you get sunscreen everywhere but miss a few crucial spots, the tan where you fall asleep on your side (my sister did this in Miami, ouch) and have a super sexy line of burn, the tan where you wear a weird shirt and get crazy lines.  basically anytime you burn and have irregular red, thats an asshole tan.  so named because you look at it and think, “man, i look like an asshole.”  welcome to my sunday night.  my chest is burned with wicked strap marks from my swim suit, the tops of my arms are burned from reading a book the whole time (pretend you are sitting and reading a book and you will see where i mean) and i even have an awesome shorts line from sitting at my aunts, in shorts, on her patio of death.  how does one person get so many bizarro lines in one day? and the queen of sunscreen no less? (although, i do maintain that my sunscreen was old and had lost its protective ability. hawaiian tropics my ass, it couldn’t even handle pennsylvania spring). how is it possible?  oh thats right. it’s called the asshole tan.  welcome to summer.

i bought all new sunscreen at target so i vow this will not happen again this summer! i felt slightly better btw, that my sister also got a minor asshole tan: managed to burn her wrists and what looks like a thumbprint on both sides of her neck.  random.

so in my last post i commented on my love of matchy matchy.  i really do love it.  i like to match my eyeshadow to my outfit, i like to match my pens at work to my outfit. i like to match my shoes to lots of stuff.  but on friday night, at happy hour i took it to a whole new level. a level it should never be taken to.  my friend and i went to state street for happy hour, and the one day i wear orange (seriously, i never wear orange.  i only have one orange shirt and i only wore it cause i was trying to give a shirt i don’t wear much some facetime) the only place left to sit are the couches.  with light orange cushions and pillows.  with dark orange placemats and dark orange menus.  so as i am sitting there looking at the matchy matchy in disbelief (and slight embarrassment, i mean it was ridic) my friend strolls in. wearing an orange shirt. i mean what are the odds? i almost took a picture, but didn’t want to draw more attention to the debacle. 


hangover 2: better than expected.  those guys are just hilarious.  they really are.  the story was EXACTLY the same as the last one, but it was still worth it.  i laughed a lot.  and the monkey is ridic.

bridesmaids: worse than expected.  my aunt told me it was raunchy and man was she right.  my sister, cousin and i were a little shocked at some of the scenes.  it was too over the top for me.  and i felt that the ladies were all super funny but underutilized.


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