Week 12: Beerfest

 Normally i dislike being stuffed into a room at Shadowbrook with 300 other people, but one day a year, i do so dearly love it.  It’s been a long year since i last saw you Beerfest, welcome back! i forgot to count, but i’ll say there were at least 8 beer vendors (distributors and brewers alike) with an average of 4 or 5 beverages each.  the thing that gets me every year is that they give you a cheesy plastic cup or mug with the logo on it, but then at each place they give you your beer in a tiny plastic cup.  why not put my beer in the mug you just gave me? very wasteful. 


1. my new favorite beer: Sam Adams Blackberry Witbier

2. people that are my friends, people that are my acquaintances, and randoms: the wannabe jersey shore contingent (i kept my eye out for fist pumping, but sadly there was none), the VERY pregger girl drinking beer, the funny guy that told me a joke as a way of demonstrating that he knew a lot of stuff (point NOT made fine sir), hot dog eating contest participants, girl with a veritable POUND of makeup on, and super hot (but married) beer guy from the new brewing co in Plains. 

3. the make-your-own-liquor stand, complete with tiny little wooden barrels, which was next to the jewelry/belt buckles made of beer bottles.  recycling at its finest.

4. the standout belt buckle that was also a flask.  a removable flask.  otherwise that would be super complicated/dirty.

5. the girl that gave my cousin the stink eye when girl thought she grabbed her mans ass.  hilarious.  and there was no ass grabbing, she just apologized unclearly for hitting the guys hanging beer opener. 

6. CRUSHING disappointment.  my new favorite beer from the fall (ironically it’s a summer beer, hence my salivating over it all fall/winter cause i can’t get it) will now only be sold in the Stegmaier variety pack.  jigga what?

7. i really dislike how people use crowded rooms for unnecessary touching.  when i need to bust through a crowd of people i use my elbows, or i try to slide through without touching anyone, or i say excuse me alot.  a majority of the other people use it as an opportunity to creepily slide their hand across your stomach or back while squishing by.  you know, the swipe and linger.  creepers.


Suckerpunch: good not great. although i do admire the lead girl for fighting with a gun AND a sword in different hands.  i think it would be like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach.  i would try to slash the gun and shoot the sword.  complicated stuff.


My salesman asked me if there was a particular way he had to fold the title before he put it in the envelope to mail.  my reply:

“An origami swan is best.”  -met with a blank stare.

“but if you are short on time you can just fold it thirds and stuff it in.”  – at this he laughed.  relieved he didn’t have to learn origami.  

i mean seriously.  would you also like advice on the proper placement of the stamp? perhaps on the amount of force required to get the perfect imprint of our return address stamp?


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